100 Days of Memoirs
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Day 74: Mirror On the Wall

6/18/2015

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I was standing in front of the mirror, and it dawned on me that I was unhappy with my body. The shirt I was pulling over my arms was a size larger than what I needed, purposefully used to hide my midsection. I was 25, recently married, and despite feeling generally self-confident, I felt ashamed of my body.

It had been ages since I had stepped on a scale, mostly because I was afraid of facing the truth of my weight. It wasn’t even really the number on the scale that I was avoiding. What I was really trying to escape was the story that my weight reflected. For years, I had neglected caring for my body. Since high school, I had gradually put on unwanted weight. My college years were spent socially eating and late night all-you-can-eat meals in the dining hall. Everyone stress ate through midterms and finals. During my junior and senior years, I was depressed and desperately clinging to an emotionally destructive relationship with a guy. More unhealthy habits with food, and almost zero physical activity.

As I looked at my reflection, I saw a body that I wanted to love. I didn’t just want to lose weight. I wanted to treat my body with the kindness and care that it deserved. So I decided to make some changes.
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