On my first date with Steve, I tried my best to botch it up before either of us got too invested.
We were ending a great evening of dinner and dessert. He took me to Roscoe’s House of Chicken & Waffles, where we delightfully stuffed ourselves with butter-drenched soul food. If you ever want a good first date, do it over a gigantic platter of crispy fried chicken and syrupy waffles.
While he made me smile at his white-boy humor and eager interest in what I said, I was afraid that he was too straightlaced for me. I was certain that he would be driven away by my past relationship baggage, and run away in search of a nice girl.
At the end of the date, when a “thank you” and “goodnight” would have been appropriate, I instead unloaded a narrative of all my past relationships - bad breakups, emotional dependency, and everything in between. It was part apology, part confession, ending with my saying, “Basically, I’m a mess.” I assumed this was the point when he’d tell me it was nice knowing me.
I was wrong. He stuck in it, offering nothing but love and compassion. Also, surprise, it turns out he had his own share of messy and complicated junk.
That first date was the beginning, becoming a relationship that somehow transcended my previous mishandled relationships. We enjoyed each other’s company, we both made decisions with our guts, we shared a common vision of the purpose of our lives.
On our wedding day we vowed to love and cherish each other for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer. If we keep talking, laughing, working through the mess, reconnecting after a long day, and cultivating our life dreams, I think we’ll end up okay.
We were ending a great evening of dinner and dessert. He took me to Roscoe’s House of Chicken & Waffles, where we delightfully stuffed ourselves with butter-drenched soul food. If you ever want a good first date, do it over a gigantic platter of crispy fried chicken and syrupy waffles.
While he made me smile at his white-boy humor and eager interest in what I said, I was afraid that he was too straightlaced for me. I was certain that he would be driven away by my past relationship baggage, and run away in search of a nice girl.
At the end of the date, when a “thank you” and “goodnight” would have been appropriate, I instead unloaded a narrative of all my past relationships - bad breakups, emotional dependency, and everything in between. It was part apology, part confession, ending with my saying, “Basically, I’m a mess.” I assumed this was the point when he’d tell me it was nice knowing me.
I was wrong. He stuck in it, offering nothing but love and compassion. Also, surprise, it turns out he had his own share of messy and complicated junk.
That first date was the beginning, becoming a relationship that somehow transcended my previous mishandled relationships. We enjoyed each other’s company, we both made decisions with our guts, we shared a common vision of the purpose of our lives.
On our wedding day we vowed to love and cherish each other for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer. If we keep talking, laughing, working through the mess, reconnecting after a long day, and cultivating our life dreams, I think we’ll end up okay.
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